My Shameful Addiction

Hi, my name is East of The Pecos and I'm an Auctionholic.

(Hi East!)

Well, for me, it all started when I was just a wee small lad. I was probably about six or seven years old. See, my Uncle Louie had just gotten married and bought a new house in town. The people he bought it from had a Personal Property Auction to liquidate a lifetime of stuff they had accumulated and couldn't fit into their new digs. It was the first time I had ever been to an Auction, and it started me down the road to an addiction that would last my entire life

A couple of years later my Mom went to work for a Faith Based Organization that ran a Nursing Home, Assisted Living, and Apartment Complex for Seniors. Part of her job was to liquidate the Estates of people entering the facility to help pay for their care. Once again, the evil auction process entered my life. This time, though, I would go too far.

At first, the sales were just something that Mom dragged me to. She was a single mom in a time when that wasn't in vogue. I would wander around looking at all the neat stuff and always listen to the Auctioneer. His chant, to me anyway,  was like a Mermaid's siren song was to a Sailor. It was slowly drawing towards the reef. I was mesmerized.

Then it happened. Most addicts can't tell you that exact moment they fell into the abyess, the first time the monkey sank his claws into their back. I can.

Looking at some of  the sale items spread out on a table, I spotted a pair of bookends. they were Scotty Dogs, and Mom LOVED Scotty Dogs. My pockets were flush with my allowance money and I was determined to buy these for Mom.

I remember that anticipation as I watched the ringman select items for bid. When he finally held up those bookends I felt the rush of adrenalin. The Auctioneer started at a dollar. My heart sank because my allowance was only 75 cents (a princely sum for a kid in 1964) . But a magical thing happened, no one bid. Then 50 cents, again no bid. Then it came down to a quarter. My hand went up and for one glorious moment, an eight year old kid was the most important person in a crowd of a hundred people.

The Auctioneer had his "Have" and launched into the search for his "Want". 25, I have 25 do I hear 30, 30 the bid, 30 do you bid boys? 30 I have, do I hear 35, 35 do I have 35? Up goes my hand and the fight is on. The adrenalin rush is like nothing I'd ever felt in my young life. I have to own these dogs! I have 35, do I hear 40, 40 the bid. My unseen nemesis bids again; I have 40 do I hear 45, 45 the bid? Again the bid goes up and again I counter. The rush get stronger, my whole body trembling and the beads of sweat start forming on my forehead. 50, I have 50 do I hear 55? 50 do I hear 55, 50 the bid, last call for 55, are we all in? 50 going once, 50 going twice, SOLD! 50 cents to the young man in front!

The ringman walked over to me and placed the prize dogs in my shaking hand. I went to the cashier and handed over 2/3 of my allowance. It was worth every penny. The kiss from my Mom when I gave them to her was worth it too. And Mom was nice enough to give me back the 50 cents that I paid.  BONUS!

So that's how it happened. Since that day I’ve been addicted to the whole process.  As I got older I started  going to auction barns and weekly sales.  Then I started working in the car business and attending car auctions, eventually working at the largest one in the world in Manheim PA.  I thought about it a few weeks ago, and between the sales I got paid to work and ones that I attended as a buyer or gawker, I have somewhere between 10 and 12 thousand sales to my credit.

Since moving to Texas I have had the chance to live my lifelong dream.  After almost 5 long years away from the auction business, I’m back! And I’m the guy behind the mike! 

That’s right, I am a licensed Associate Auctioneer. Most of the time I’m a Ringman, but several times throughout the sale, I call bids. Once I get 10 sales under my belt I can take the State test for full fledged Auctioneer status. I passed that mark quite a while ago, but I’m really content with things as they are. Eventually I’ll sit for the exam, but for right now I’m happy to just be back in the game.  And not only am I in the game, I’m the team Captain!

True Grit Redeux

Ever since I can remember, I have been a fan of John Wayne.

As a child, I looked up to him. He sat tall in the saddle, almost always played the good guy, and of course, always got the girl. And it wasn't just any girl. It was girls like Maureen O'Hara, Kate Hepburn, Angie Dickinson, Stefanie Powers, Natalie Wood, Sophia Loren, and others.  To watch him on screen was to see manhood personified.

He only received one OSCAR for all of his acting performances. It was for his portrayal of Marshall Rooster Cogburn in True Grit.

And I have to add that if it weren't for him, I probably wouldn't be living in Texas. Watching him as a kid was what made me want to come here in the first place. Falling in love with Texas was all me, but coming here to visit, that was all Duke.

So, you can probably imagine my reaction when I heard that there was going to be a remake of True Grit.

HOW DARE THEY! This is blasphemy. There are things in this world you simply don't fu@k with. Even if you are the Coen brothers.

Well, I rented it from the RedBox last night, fully prepared to curse it loudly and turn it off in disgust before the first scene was over.

Damn, I hate it when I'm wrong. I really liked it. So much so, that I'm going to buy a copy for my library. It will never replace the original for many reasons, but it sure shines in it's own way.

The dialogue and story line are very true to the original. Jeff Bridges does an admirable job as Rooster (although at times I think he was channeling Carl from Sling Blade), and Matt Damon does a great job as LaBoeuf. Hailee Steinfeld (who is 24, by the way) plays Maddie. Josh Brolin is Tom Chaney. and although his role is small, he does a good bad guy.

Being as it is a Coen brothers movie, the ending has to be different. There is no Rooster on a new horse jumping a 3 rail fence. I won't spoil it for those of you that haven't seen it yet, but do see it. It's worth the price of a rental. I don't do theaters because I have a big screen, 5.1 surround sound and a really comfy recliner. But if I didn't have that, I'd even spring for a ticket to see this one.

I think even Duke smiled down and said "Good job, kid"

The Daily Show w/Jon Stewart Beats Fox News?

I've always been kind of a smart-ass, I can't help it. Ever since I can remember, I've been afflicted by the the disease.

As a kid, I was pretty introverted. I went to a school across town from where I lived, so most of the kids were essentially strangers to me. Early on I realized that if I could provoke a laugh or two, I'd be more likely to be noticed, and therefore accepted by my peers. It really helped me to come out of my shell. Nothing was off-limits to me, I was an equal opportunity smart-ass. I became quick with a pun and quicker to point out the absurd around me. I was a class clown and spent a lot of time standing in a corner or in the Principal's office, but I had friends because of it, so that made it worth it.

That's why I love Jon Stewart. He is the consummate smart-ass.

Sure, there are times that he infuriates me when he goes off on one of his left leaning rants, but he spreads the love around and goes after the left as well. He's an equal opportunity smart-ass, just like me. He destroyed Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala equally on their show Crossfire. So badly in fact, that the show was cancelled shortly after. While it's certainly debatable as to whether Jon was responsible for that, it surely bears speculation. Tucker was clearly out of his realm and outclassed. At least Begala had the common sense to mostly keep his trap shut for most of the segment. He knew he was not going to win.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmj6JADOZ-8

Then there was his response to 9/11. When America was reeling in the days following the attacks, we were in mourning. It upset our world so badly that we were almost afraid to laugh, lest we offend someone. Jon's moving monologue just days after the attack told us it was OK to laugh. It also showed me that even though I disagree with him sometimes, he loves America just as much as I do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqY3_0RSAXY

The list of people he has interviewed reads like a Who's Who. Presidents, Vice Presidents, Congresscritters, Senators, Foreign Leaders, Kings, Pulitzer Prize winners, and not one of them has been spared his barbs. He is an equal opportunity smart-ass. he even called Obama "Dude", pissing off his left wing audience (How dare he insult the Chosen One!).

So imagine my reaction when I read today that his show ranked higher in the Neilson ratings than any offering by Fox News.

http://www.newscorpse.com/ncWP/?p=4582

Fox is, and probably always will be my go-to source for hard news. But I really think they need to take a hard look at Jon and his partner in crime, Stephen Colbert. They might just learn something.

The War We'll Never Win

In my previous post about Florida's new pee-in-the-cup law I expressed my disdain for our "War On Drugs". Lest I look like some Hippie or Doper, I thought I might take a moment or three to expound on my thoughts about it.

First off, I don't do drugs. I can't say I've never done them, I was young once (back in the last century) and experimented a bit. I smoked my share of weed, tried Coke a time or two, and I'm still waiting for one of those flashbacks they promised me. When I finally grew up, I wised up. Unfortunately, some of my friends didn't. I've attended the funerals of some of them. I've watched a few others lose jobs, families, and friends. And a few I've visited or written to when they found themselves guests of the State or County. In short, drugs are bad, mmkay?

But the war on drugs is worse. Much worse.

Starting as far back as 1914 with the Harrison Narcotics Tax Act and then the Narcotic Drugs Import and Export Act in 1922 The die was cast for the start of a war we could never win.

In 1937 President Hoover ramped it up when his Secretary of the Treasury, Andrew Mellon  called on Harry Anslinger to serve as the first commissioner of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics.

Under Anslinger, the bureau lobbied for harsh penalties for drug usage. The FBN got the credit for criminalizing drugs such as cannabis with the Marijuana Tax Act of 1937, as well as strengthening the Harrison Narcotics Tax Act of 1914. they worked hard to stop the smuggling of opium and heroin and had overseas offices in Turkey, Beirut, Thailand, and other countries where smuggling was rampant.

Harry, it seems, wasn't beyond stretching the truth wherever possible in reaching his goals. Any one who's ever seen the movie "Reefer Madness" should realize that. He, and his buddy,  William Randolph Hearst, the publisher, bombarded the Government and the public with half truths and outright lies. Here are some  gems:

"Colored students at the Univ. of Minn. partying with (white) female students, smoking [marijuana] and getting their sympathy with stories of racial persecution. Result: pregnancy"

"Most marijuana smokers are Negroes, Hispanics, jazz musicians, and entertainers. Their satanic music is driven by marijuana, and marijuana smoking by white women makes them want to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and others. It is a drug that causes insanity, criminality, and death — the most violence-causing drug in the history of mankind."

The modern drug war was started by Tricky Dick Nixon back in the 60's and was given a big boost by Nancy, the wife of my favorite President Ronald Reagan again in the 80's and early 90's. It has been an abject failure. It has wasted Trillions of dollars and has reaped no benefits whatsoever, unless you count the money and property seized in the course of arresting sellers and users. And of course the profits of the prison industry.

As I type this, over 750,000 non-violent drug offenders are in our prison system. People that would otherwise be productive members of society are imprisoned because they ingested something that the Government decided is bad for them. They hurt no one but themselves, but we have to pay to warehouse them.

It has transformed our police from helpful public servants into a para-military force. Thousands people have been innocent victims of these para-military police tactics. Search warrants served at the wrong house, innocents caught in crossfire, no knock raids where the residents thought they were experiencing a home invasion and tried to protect themselves, being shot in the process. I don't hate cops and I certainly don't think all of them have this mentality, but many do, and that taints the good ones.

In many countries drugs are still illegal, but instead of jailing addicts, they treat them. Either by detox or by supplying pharmaceutical grade drugs and clean needles. It costs less and allows addicts to be contributing members of society, not a drain on resources. In still others, drugs are legal and usage has gone down. Would that work here? I don't know, but anything has to be better than what we have going on now.

The drug war going on in Mexico right now has cost over 30,000 lives, decimated cities like Juarez and even  upscale places like Monterrey. Tourism has dropped off to virtually nothing, and has turned the whole country into a Police State. Dead bodies hang from overpasses and decapitated corpses are dumped on the streets. Car bombings and drive by shootings are a daily occurrence. Corruption is rampant and drug cartels rule entire regions and even dictate what the press reports. They are so brazen they mark their vehicles with their logos like they are official vehicles. They set up roadblocks and kidnap and murder at will. No one really knows how many victims there truly are, because many bodies simply disappear.

Prohibition does not work. Period. It didn't work in the 20's with alcohol, and it isn't working now with drugs. I don't know what the answer to the drug problem is, but what we've been doing since 1914 ain't it.

Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. It's official, the government IS insane!

Want Welfare In Florida? Pee In The Cup Please.

Florida Governor Rick Scott signed legislation yesterday requiring persons applying for welfare benefits to submit to drug screening.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303745304576359780327686022.html

http://www.newser.com/story/119958/florida-to-drug-test-welfare-recipients-under-new-law-signed-by-rick-scott.html

All I can say is, it's about damn time!

It's almost impossible to get a job in this Country without peeing in a cup. If you have to be tested to get a job, you sure as hell should be tested to get my tax dollars.

My wife works for a DOD Contractor on the the Air Force Base here. Not only did she get tested to get the job, she has to go for random tests at her employer's whim. In 4 years she's hit the bladder lottery 3 times
.
I wonder why the UCLU doesn't have a problem with that?

I really don't agree with our War On Drugs nor do I agree with drug testing for employment. But if we are going to test people wanting to work, then we damn sure should test people that want money for nothing.